no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
