I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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