This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize