Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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