Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
