i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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