i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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