so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
