She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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