My sheets look like a crime scene.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
