so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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