He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
