My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
