i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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