If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
