Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Of course I have a pirate flag
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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