Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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