apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
