I must be too annoying 4 u.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
