my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
