1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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