Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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