can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
