if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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