Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
