I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
