I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think my tv is drunk
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
