Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We're too hungover to prance.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
