Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I am spending my child support on dildos
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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