nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize