Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
