No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
