Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
