??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
