the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Houston, we have a squirter
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
why is half of my head shaved?
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