i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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