Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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