Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Let's paint friendship bongs
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
