Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish you could order shots online.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
