respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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