well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
