i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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