please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
