So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
