Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
