Tell her she can't have a vagina
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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