Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
