is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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