i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize