If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
