: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
