He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
