And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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