We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
