Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dick very happy bro
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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