No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
