is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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