You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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