oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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