Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Randomize
