the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
