I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
